It was a beautiful sunny afternoon and I was ecstatic. Overjoyed even. The car windows were rolled down, music was pumped up, and I was singing at the top of my lungs with a huge smile on my face. I felt energized. I felt free.
Why was I so happy? What had caused me to be so excited? I was headed to the gym ALONE. It had been weeks since I had been by myself and I was actually looking forward to going to the gym and just spending time with me. But this glee I felt was quickly bombarded by a big bully named GUILT. I had not be away from home for more then ten minutes when he snuck in and tried to take away my joy. “You don’t like being with you new baby?” he asked me. “You WANT to be away from him? You don’t want to spend time with your husband?” He was taunting me. I listened to him for a moment and began to feel bad about leaving Andy and the baby at home. What does it say about me that I am so excited to get away for an hour? I thought about it for a few minutes and then I kicked guilt out the door and ran over him with my four-wheel drive station wagon. These thoughts and emotions I was having said one thing about me… that I am normal!
A dear friend of mine told me a little story that portrays perfectly why I was so excited to go the gym alone. And why it was ok to do so. They story went something like this:
All women have a basket of apples. These apples are precious. What do women do with these apples? They give them away. All day long they give those apples away. They give their apples to their children. They give their apples to their husband. Perhaps they give some apples to their job or even to a charity. The point is that they give their apples away. And at the end of the day their basket is empty. They can’t give any more apples away until they… PICK MORE APPLES.
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So what was I doing when I was at the gym? Picking my apples. There is no need to feel guilty about that. That “me” time is what gets me ready for the next day to love on my son and serve my husband. There should be no guilt in that. Often times moms lose themselves in the busy world of doing and giving. Don’t get me wrong. Its a beautiful thing to give and serve. But I truly believe that we can better do those things when we take time for ourselves.
So I encourage you to take time to pick your apples. Maybe that is the gym for you. Or a nice bubble bath. Perhaps a pedicure or a coffee date with a friend. Whatever it is just know that it is OK to take time for yourself. Don’t let that bully infect you with burdens you were not meant to carry.
What do you do to pick your apples? I would love to know.
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shari (http://www NULL.sharihensonphoto NULL.com/wp) - great analogy and a great reminder! daily – i read my bible and study scripture when C takes a nap. it is a MUST! weekly – grocery shop alone. monthly – dance party at a girlfriend’s house. and then every other friday dane and i go out alone (and when we can afford every friday, we’ll do that, too!).
ashley - So proud of you! I pick my apples by going on walks and runs with Will or getting on my elliptical at the end of the day. Next week I will start going to a women’s biblestudy and Samantha will be in the nursery. More apples!
Also, I have several friends that don’t let ( or make) their husbands spend some complete alone time with the baby. These women are stealing the bound their husbands and babies need. I leave Will quite a bit now that Sam will take a bottle. I figure, if something were to happen to me he needs to know that he can take care of Sam without me and have the confidence to do so. Also, Samantha LLLOOVVEESS her Daddy. And, I’m pretty proud of that. 🙂
Tori (http://FIToriBLOG NULL.com) - I am signing off my computer to go read a book right now to “pick my apples”. I’ve been working too hard – full-time job, masters student, nutrition classes, building my new business, being a friend, wife, Toby mommy, etc. I’m empty and tired. GREAT POST GIRL!
Julie - Love it 🙂