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Not Ready to Say Goodbye

For the past month or so I haven’t been able to hold back the tears during worship at church. I’m not normally a crier during worship. I am a jumper, hand raiser, dancer type gal. But not lately. Lately I’ve been a little weepy. And I know exactly why.

Beltway, our church in Abilene, is where I feel most at home here in Texas. When I sit in that sanctuary and spend time in worship I am overwhelmed by God’s presence. Every Sunday I am reminded of His love and goodness. In that sanctuary is where I truly encountered God like never before. I knew God before moving to Abilene, but the past five years have been filled with so much spiritual growth and revelation. It is in that place that I met the Holy Spirt and witnessed His power. It is in that place that I have come to know my identity in Christ and where I began to walk in that freedom.

AND it’s in that place that I met my Abilene family, those amazing people who I do life with daily. People who have touched my heart in such a way that I will never be the same. People who have spoke truth into my life and supported me in every arena. People who know the real me and still love me.

And so I cry when I am at church.

Because I know this season is coming to an end. And I am overwhelmed at the blessings God has given me during my time here in Abilene. But part of me selfishly doesn’t want to leave all this behind. However, I’ve known for a while now that God was going to send us out. Our pastor once said that he felt like Beltway was a place to raise up disciples and send them out to the nations. The moment he spoke those words I knew my family and I were included in this calling. And I do feel equipped. I feel empowered and appointed to show God’s love to the nations. I am excited about this opportunity and eager to see what God has in store.

But as excited as I am, I am just not quite ready to say goodbye. Not yet. Praying God will get me to that place. I know that He will. Until then, I remain content to meet Him in that place of worship and cry at His feet.

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Carissa - I know exactly what you mean. I still listen to the sermons online. I only wish that Joel and I had gotten more involved.

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