Warning: This blog post is more like a journal entry. Today I am writing whatever comes out just because I need to process all these thoughts that are running around in my head. So feel free to listen, but just know this is unedited and not premeditated. This is authentic and raw. This is me.
Lately all I think about is business stuff. Marketing, branding, networking, client relations, SEO, blogging, twitting, emailing… the list goes on and on. And I just can’t stop thinking about it. Not in a bad way. But if i am sitting at the dinner table and my mind starts to wonder, my thoughts go inevitably to business things. Wow! I never thought I would be at that place. If you would have told me three years ago that I was going to be a business owner I would have sheepishly shaken my head and told you that you had me mistaken for someone else. I didn’t plan this for my life. And I am still not sure where this is all going. But I love where I am at currently. I love having something that I can call my own. That I can nurture and cultivate. And yes there is the fear of failure. We all struggle with it. But for some reason it doesn’t haunt me like it use to. I think that’s because this business wasn’t my idea. I didn’t come up with it. It was birthed inside of me out of a passion. It was pulled out of me by interactions and experiences that the Lord put in front of me. I guess what I am trying to say is that He led me here. And so when I am overwhelmed with all the business aspects or caught up in fear I remind myself that this wasn’t my idea. It was His. And He has a plan and a purpose for my life. And for this season. And whatever that may look like is ok with me. Because that’s where I want to be. In the center of His will.
And since this was His idea I can let the little stuff go. I want so badly to be there already. To be branded and customized. Put together and established. Polished and perfected. But that is not realistic. There is a learning curve with any job and I am totally riding that curve right now. So I need to chill and let God be in the driver seat, instead of reaching over all the time and trying to pull the wheel. All that does is make the car swerve and give me whip lash. It’s healthy to set goals and work to accomplish them. But letting anything consume you is not. So I guess I am confessing that I have been trying to take the wheel and that I don’t want to do that any more. I want everything I do to be intentional and in the center of God’s will. Including my business. Especially my business. So here I am God saying take it. Take my business and have your way. Help me to get out of the way and let you drive.
Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
I do not want to labor in vain.
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